Half
a million Canadian children display angry or aggressive
behaviour, such as fighting, property damage, bullying,
verbal abuse and intimidation. This kind of behaviour
can be frustrating for both parents and teachers
and, if left untreated, can lead to serious problems
(poor school performance, delinquency, substance
abuse, etc.) that often persist through adolescence
and into adulthood.
Here are some tips you can
try on your own to help manage your child’s
anger and aggression:
Focus on the child, not the behaviour. Anger
and aggression are often symptoms of underlying
emotional problems, which may include frustration,
sadness or loneliness.
Avoid labelling the child a “bad kid”.
This only adds to the low self-esteem and sense
of worthlessness he or she may already be feeling.
Stay calm. Walk away and give yourself some
time to think about your response. Getting angry
back
only perpetuates the child’s pattern of
poor behaviour.
Talk to your child up front about what the
consequences will be if he lets his anger get
the better of
him. Be sure to follow through on those consequences.
Stay positive. Let your child know she has
choices, and that there are other ways to deal
with her
feelings besides getting angry.
Be honest. Let your child know how you feel
when he or she behaves in a certain way.
Acknowledge the child’s feelings and show
empathy – “You must be disappointed
that I won’t let you do that.” or “You
are probably pretty worried about whether you’re
going to pass/be accepted/make the team, etc.”
If the problem behaviour persists, seek the help
of a child psychologist or other behaviour specialist.
